walkitout (walkitout) wrote,
walkitout
walkitout

How Not to Write a Subhead

Here's the article:

http://www.eweek.com/c/a/Desktops-and-Notebooks/Amazon-Kindle-Sells-Out-Offers-New-Ship-Date-674425/

Here's the headline:

"Amazon Kindle Sells Out, Offers New Ship Date"

Here's the subhead:

"Amazon.com's third-generation Kindle has temporarily sold out, according to the online retailer, with orders apparently expected to ship on or before Sept. 4. Amazon is currently battling Barnes & Noble, Apple and other e-reader manufacturers for e-reader market share."

First off, it is on the long side. More importantly, "battling"? That's the verb you're going to go with?
Tags: e-book coverage
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