walkitout (walkitout) wrote,

explain this

I understand that it was traditional for a woman to care for her aging parent and/or her husband's aging parent, if such a parent is taken into the home as they are declining. I actually get that. I even understand that managerial tasks associated with aging/ill/disabled relations in skilled nursing care almost inevitably devolve, to this day, to the woman in the extended family with the least remunerative career.

"With Tom's mother requiring constant care in their home, they carefully watch the power balance so that her presence does not become Shankari's primary duty. In fact, Tom maintains primary responsibility for his mother's care by purposeful decision."

I actually know a couple of relevant cases, but the women and the families involved are atypical. Really, really, really atypical. Anyone else know of a family that took in an aging parent who required constant care vs. coming up with _any_ other strategy? Just letting Tom's mum live with them was a huge sacrifice (and we can see that because later in the same paragraph we learn that "their plan is to move to Shankari's native India to be closer to her family" when Tom's mum is no longer living with them) on Shankari's part. I don't think Tom gets any see-everything-is-equal credit here at all.

Perhaps I'm a wee bit sensitive here.
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