walkitout (walkitout) wrote,

sanity is cautiously peeking out all over


In this entry, a psychiatrist suggests, all too timidly, and with absolutely horrific examples of how to do it, that sometimes adult children should divorce their parents.


The idea that this is somehow akin to cutting off a gangrenous limb implies that there was ever anything there worth preserving, which, imo, is just enabling enabling. Loyalty to the utterly undeserving is _not_ admirable, any more than unquestioning obedience has any moral value.

But at least he's writing about the topic (which is more than anyone other than Alice Miller ever does) and at least he acknowledges that this needs to be done sometimes.

ETA: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/20/health/20mind.html?ref=health

ETAYA: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/20/divorcing-your-parents/

The comments thread is amazing -- solidly in favor of divorce, a mention of Alice Miller, several people saying they had to do this or knew someone who did. Usually there's a lot more back and forth, which is an indication that the author of the article (and the therapeutic community in general) is way, way too conservative on this point. Surprise. Most of the therapeutic community is about whacking people down to fit into prescribed societal roles; backing the next generation against the previous one is hardly on the agenda.
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