walkitout (walkitout) wrote,

a frustrating, but less distressing day and children behaving badly

Apparently, dentist + RMV + bad mall experience = Teh Awful for me. By comparison, a garden variety being eaten by small black flying insects and attempting (and failing) to get through the last step in the auto insurance process is not so bad. We went grocery shopping at Donelan's which was sort of okay. We're still experimenting with local grocery options. I'm thinking the Groton Shaws is going to win, which is sad in a way, but not unexpected.

RHI that Johnson's in Groton has a fabulous burger. Must try that soon.

A little laundry, some thai leftovers, feeding some hard and therefore stale molasses cookies to A. rounded out the day. Yes, I sound irresponsible as a parent, but she wasn't really biting off chunks (when she inadvertantly did, she spat them out). She was teething on them. Very messy.

I also learned today that the younger of the two neighbor boys shoved T. for somewhat inexplicable reasons yesterday evening. J. was mortified and discipline ensued which included removal from the scene. Theories include that T. had a lot looser boundaries on where he could ride his bike than the other kids could ride their vehicles; T. was totally ignoring the kid who shoved; T. may have attracted a fair amount of attention from the kid's older brother and/or other adults. T. was very surprised and annoyed but did not react with hostility; in classic T. fashion he just moved away from the source of irritation.

I worry a lot about stuff like this, because of the random violence and aggression that I was subjected to in elementary school, most of which I just had no clue why it happened then, and honestly, not a whole lot more clue now. I wasn't on the receiving end of a lot of it, and I reacted basically the way T. does. I do know other people who were on the receiving end of a lot more, most of them guys, which worries me even more, especially since I know that anyone who registers as different is a preferred target. I quit taking T. to the Brookline town playground for a couple reasons, probably the biggest being logistical (he wouldn't get in the van to go there, he played briefly once we arrived then headed for the exit and the van, with or without me and our gear), but a close second being a series of less-than-optimal kid interactions culminating in a little girl who wanted to play with T. He was, not unexpectedly, pretty indifferent, but okay with her being in the area. She wanted a lot more, tho, and escalated to aggression when he ignored her. Her mother got involved as a Teaching Moment, trying to tell her daughter How To Play With Other Kids. I don't like this kind of thing in general (people who try this kind of shit only rarely are any good at playing well with others themselves) and did some low key discouraging but mom persisted after the daughter had lost interest. Eventually, the daughter got out of the situation by throwing sand in T.'s eyes. I blogged about it at the time and was reminded of it when I was prepping for our assessment last month and digging through entries looking for everything about language/speech development.

This more recent instance in no way reflects poorly on parenting (as the older incident, I think, did) skills/strategy/choices. And T. takes a ton of worse damage all by himself (scraped up his knees pretty bad wearing shorts and falling off a ride on toy the other day, just as a for instance). I guess this is why we're making sure T. gets help with social skills, and if that doesn't prove to be enough, I bet I can find a martial arts for tots class around here somewhere.
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