walkitout (walkitout) wrote,

Back again, sorry about the lapse

Altho I suppose I could blame the holiday season.

We had a very pleasant, quiet week in Leavenworth. We took the wee one XC skiing; Roland had him in the Snugli and we stuck to the short, easy trail. Even so, one of his hands was blue upon our return, which scared the bejesus out of me. He warmed up fast as I breastfed him in the car. Warm milk in the tummy is a good way to rewarm quick.

I'm now taking lecithin to try to avoid getting more mastitis after a repeat round Just In Time for Christmas. *sigh*

We've mostly transition to new child care, since previous child care will be taking a class at Evergreen starting soon. This is sad, because we really, really, really liked old child care, but the new guy is really cool, too. Since the wee one is mostly healthy (altho teething), I went to martial arts today, for the second time in three weeks, and I continue to actually remember how to do things. This is a good feeling.

Prior to the trip to Leavenworth, I printed out the book, and was somewhat stunned. Apparently I really _have_ written a book while pregnant/taking care of the wee one (with much assistance). Before printing it out, I had done a substantial revision. It can now be found at my home page /repro. Comments welcome. It's not done yet (ha! Give me about twenty years or so), and I have a stack of modifications/edits lined up, but yours would be hugely appreciated. You don't have to be a parent to contribute, because we were all parented at one time, and we all know (some of) what we did and didn't like.

This has really been a weird writing experience. This project has involved the most reading I have ever done for any research. Ever. The next in line isn't even close. This is the longest thing I've written other than the novel (and by the time it's done, it'll be longer, I feel sure). It has been the hardest to figure out how to structure. And it has undergone the biggest change midway through. It was initially going to be my contribution to the vast body of liminal year literature (books about getting pregnant, having the baby, and taking care of the wee one while the wee one is still quite wee, with side notes about the impact on the marriage and one's own perspective in life). Around the end of the liminal year, I realized the entire concept of the liminal year was a complete crock.

But then, a lot of what we believe, and a lot of how we do things in our society are complete crocks. And it's quite beautiful how they all fit together. The downside being, they all fit together, so it's hard to change one thing at a time. The upside being, a virtuous cycle can be started by changing just one thing at a time.

So the book is going to be more about how I started out wanting to try to get pregnant and have a baby, and all the decisions I made along the way, and how I noticed things being really interconnected in surprising ways. And then it's more about how everyone believes you can't learn this stuff from a book (which is true) and therefore one shouldn't read and research parenting (which is very much not true, and is a double-edged idea. It encourages people to follow their instincts -- which is more or less good, because babies do bring out the good in us, along with the bad from our past -- but it also slows the spread of good ideas, which is unfortunate, because it doesn't seem to make a dent in the spread of bad ideas). And finally it's about how a psycho planner (me), after a slow start, decided to try to get a handle on this before she was dealing with toddlers screaming no or adolescents sneaking out the window to do who knows what in the woods a mile away. And all along the way I'm finding out what really works, and what really doesn't. Which is important, because I sure know what my parents did to us doesn't work at all.

A friend of mine and her three and a half year old granddaughter spent three days with us in Leavenworth. That was awesome. I learned a ton.
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