walkitout (walkitout) wrote,

Griping? Or Musing? Women and Should, Part 2

On a retrospective What Not to Wear Episode, one woman hadn't bought clothes for herself in a long time. Like, maybe fifteen years or so, she'd gotten a little wrapped up in the kids and family etc. The kids and family decided the whole Martyr Thing wasn't really all that great a deal for them anymore and ratted her out to Clinton and Stacy who bullied her into some serious Girl Time -- they got her to a spa in addition to the clothing budget, hair and makeup. Yadda yadda, that's what the show is all about.

The part that pulled me up short was when she said, "I guess I'd really let myself go." I loathe this particular phrase. When I hear it, I hear a woman who is basically groveling for her failure to adhere to social norms of dress and grooming (if about her personal appearance), home care, child care, etc. There is _way_ too much stuff to do in anyone's life; we should all try to be compassionate and not apply pressure. But in this particular case, she was saying it immediately after saying she wasn't even on her own priority list, and I got a little flash of her riding on a bus, looking out the window as she pulled away from her self, waving sadly goodbye.

Okay, maybe I don't loathe that phrase so much. Sometimes, it's not about social pressure to conform -- it's about having given up things that you really wanted to do for yourself, and just couldn't find the time.

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