Daddytypes is not real impressed (hence the Neglect-o-matic remark).
Short form: umbrella stroller, cordless drill and a few oddments creates a device that goes in a circle in an empty room carrying a kid.
Pro: drill makes great white noise. Hands-free operation.
Con: umbrella stroller with no recline; can't really use this at the very young colicky age when you'd really want it
Disturbingly interesting idea, but who has an empty room to run it in?