walkitout (walkitout) wrote,
walkitout
walkitout

Worst Article So Far on the prepping a toddler for a new baby

http://www.drspock.com/faq/0,1511,647,00.html

Some seriously nutzoid advice here. Over on the berkley parents network, a variety of people ran up against the when-to-tell an observant young'un that mama was knocked up. The issue typically (as with telling anyone) revolved around what-if-something-happens, but some of the parents really, really, really felt bad lying to their kids (good for them!).

This guy advocates specifically not informing (unless nausea etc. forces your hand) in case of miscarriage. One wonders how you are then supposed to explain the episode of depression that will naturally follow on the miscarriage to your clueless young'un who has probably figured out some way to blame themselves.

But if that were the only issue, I'd just soldier on. Here's a sample exchange he gives for answering the how'd the kid get in there question:

"For example, if your daughter asks, "How did the baby get into your stomach?" you could answer, "He is not in my stomach. He is growing in a special place called a uterus."

Right. Because when your toddler means stomach, they don't just mean that whole area, no, they have a detailed internal physiology map and bringing up the womb is going to somehow help. Which, I might add, evades the question anyway, which is, okay, how'd he get in the uterus?

The rest of the article is just the usual same old lame old. In a lot of respects, I kind of like the excessively heterocentric and gender-conservative advice from of old: when Baby arrives, Second-Youngest Now Belongs to Papa. All this "helpful advice" that assumes mama is responsible for everyone is just loopy, and leads to things like, delay going to a crying baby when engaged in an activity with the toddler so the toddler knows they are important too. Yeah, _that's_ a great message to send. (Not from this particular article, altho he gets close.) While this guy advocates the other parent (admirably _not_ heterocentric) step up to the plate (and hopefully grands are around to help out), these relationships are treated as "consolation" prizes for being with mama. I'd say booby prize, but that might not be right here.
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