Short form: dude, not _my_ problem. Uh, actually _it is_.
Words fail me; fortunately, they don't fail Tanta.
ETA: I'm think the wholesale mortgage business -- which most banks have gotten out of -- needs to be shut down entirely.
ETA: From the comments thread, as further evidence that Wells Fargo is Not the Lending Paragon some might have you believe:
Buy a house; they'll throw in a car for free.