April 16th, 2004

Morgan, Percival, Squam, Winnepesauke

Today's activity was hiking. Woohoo! I feel almost normal again.

I'm caught up on dental activities, and won't have to go for another 6 months. This is a good feeling. The weather has taken a turn for the very much better, so I went on a day hike up in the Squam Mountains in the Lakes Region. Yes, fellow Pacific Northwesterners, probably places you've never heard of before. In any event, I hiked up Morgan, across to Percival, and then down from Percival, taking the non-cave routes each time. Great weather, fantastic view of Squam Lake, pretty good view of Lake Winnepesauke beyond it (at least I think that's what I was looking at). Still a bit of ice on Squam. Not too much mud on the trails, but if I had it to do over again, I'd go up Percival and come down Morgan because Percival is really f-ing steep. I've been on worse, but not often. My feet hurt from all the rock hopping, but my knees do not. Which is amazing, as I have not trained downhill for months and month. Foghorn Outdoors gave a 3 hour estimate on the loop; it took me a full four. Apparently northeasterners are made of tougher stuff than me.

The last few days were rough for me. I was up way late last Friday and did not catch up on sleep until yesterday (I broke down and started taking naps on Wednesday afternoon). The inside of my head was Not a Nice Place for a few days, that uniquely horrible combination of frenzy and negative thinking that has caused me so much trouble in the past. Roland did not freak out, or even take any of it personally, which is vastly reassuring. While working out helped some, the naps were what ultimately got me out of the bad headspace. Along the way, the frenetic energy did get directed into more research on mixed state bipolar, which gave me more insight into what was happening and why. I now feel a lot less worried about my occasional fits of irrational anger. It isn't really anger at all; it's frustration and irritability arising from the bad headspace, entirely fixable by getting more sleep. Chalk another one up to the Basic Needs Theory, and expect to hear me go on about Dark Therapy at some point in the future.

Lots of errands and activity for the weekend. Monday is supposed to be beautiful, and I'd like to get up to Arethusa and Ripley Falls, but only if I get enough sleep before then.
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    tired tired