I'm very skeptical about this whole 9 months theory. First off, even as prescriptive as the medical community is about "normal", even they recognize a normal variation of 37-42 weeks LMP. Which means as long as I can hold out for another two weeks, even they won't consider it early. Will I make it that long? Interesting question. There are a lot of rules for identifying labor, which one is supposed to worry about and contact one's health care practitioner if it happens before 37 weeks in particular so they can try to make it stop. Which they are not particularly effective at, but never mind that now. While I have had contractions occasionally throughout this pregnancy, new patterns have shown up. On two separate days when I had a lot of contractions, the next day the bottom of the belly was lower (not a lot, maybe an inch). That seems good -- progress in the right direction. And of course the usual pelvis feels about to fall apart phenomena, complete with sciatica blah blah blah. And my ankles are swelling, but it's pretty minor compared to what I see other women having to put up with so I can't complain much. Nope, not worried about any of these. However, I was getting a bit worried after two nights in a row of 10-11:30 p.m. contractions, one every few minutes (only one even remotely painful and no cause for concern otherwise). Next appointment, I tell the nice midwife, and the midwife tells us about monkey labor (which it turns out a lot of other women know about, altho I had not yet seen anything about it in the numerous books I'd read, which suggests I have not hit convergence yet). Monkeys (species unspecified) go into labor for four hours every day for a weekish before actually giving birth and this happens after the sun goes down (at least that part makes sense; oxytocin rises with darkness, so women who only want to have sex in the dark are not actually necessarily repressed; they may just know their hormones really well and actually want to come).
I don't mind being compared to a primate (I would prefer being called a bonobo, but that's just speciesism on my part), altho I do get that there are huge issues here and I, like my midwife, would be reluctant to draw this analogy around other people. So after the appointment, I was all happy, this is explained and it ends before I try to sleep (around midnight or 1 a.m.) so no harm no foul. Ha!
The very next night, and for several nights thereafter, monkey labor has continued much later into the night, waking me up periodically (still no pain, still no cause for concern) and generally irritating me. Can this really go on for a month without something happening? I am skeptical. I know that's possible, but this sure seems to be headed somewhere. I'm hoping not until July 26th; there are a party and a wedding I'd like to attend.
In the meantime, I'm being more aggressively lazy, in hopes of at least making it to 37 weeks, and therefore avoiding the hospital.