Okay, right there, that would be a big lie. First, I cleared off the top of the kitchen shelving and matched all the plastic containers up with lids and removed stuff that had deteriorated too far and/or didn't have a match. I made sure everything stacked appropriately, and tracked down some appropriate containers for things like wheat berries. Then I went down to the basement, opened up the organic soft white wheat bag after carefully putting it in a plastic bin, and scooped out a whole bunch of berries into a metal canister that some shuffling of canister contents had made available.
_Then_ the Mill Fun began. It's loud. It has a speed adjustment and a fineness/coarseness adjustment.
I thought I knew rancid. I had _no freaking clue_. If you've bought whole wheat flour that was sitting on a shelf at the store, you bought rancid whole wheat flour. Maybe not unbearably rancid, but that bitterness is _not_ native to whole wheat. You mill whole wheat yourself and it tastes unbelievably good. I'd read that, but I was unprepared for the smell and taste.
I tried to make rolls, but got a little distracted and wound up doing a free form loaf instead. Again, as expected, the freshly milled stuff behaves differently from stuff that you buy in terms of moisture -- how much it has, how it absorbs moisture, how much moisture it will absorb. Hard to describe, but blatantly obvious while mixing and kneading. Also as expected, soft white does not make a high rising loaf (at least, not for me -- YMMV). But it was tasty, even without any salt at all.
Also, if you think that coffee grinders tend to distribute coffee dust about the kitchen, no matter how careful you are, think long and hard before buying a grain mill. OMG. I'm going to be the woman covered in white dust.
(Anyone who is speculating about how this experiment fits into the ill toddler: the kid didn't have any of the bread so it hardly seems like that could be related.)