Earlier today, I took T. to track, where we saw some people we already knew and I had a nice long chat with someone new. T. had a great time, as always. After we spent some time hanging out at home, we went to Applebee's for lunch. Then we went to the horse. Alas, it is L.'s last time riding with T. and A. M. and I will miss our chats with T. (not my son; L.'s mother), but we're already talking about a trampoline outing for everyone so hopefully we'll make that happen.
T. (my son) and I stopped at the liquor store on the way home, as my large bottle of antica vermouth was empty. I also picked up another bottle of Rittenhouse. It is just shocking how fast that stuff disappears.
I spent some time this afternoon and evening reading about splitting. I had gotten the impression that there were multiple definitions/perspectives on splitting. Indeed, there are. I've been saying since my early 30s that when I find a trait intolerable in another person, I first try to address it in myself. I usually find that when I have become okay with that trait in me (or successfully replaced it with something healthier and more aligned with my values), I rarely find it so intolerable in others. And when I do, I no longer have any trouble walking away from those relationships in a low drama way (reducing the relationship to a much lower intensity level). Did I have any idea this is _directly_ related to healing from the myriad errors of splitting? Nope. Nobody has pointed it out, either, which is a little startling.
R. and I considered a couple different options for a table/board for doing puzzles, and got the old drop leaf out of the basement. I've got a still-in-shrink wrap 1500 piece puzzle sitting on it waiting for tomorrow morning. It will interfere a little with roomba, but really, life can't all be about vacuuming anyway, now can it? Here's hoping the kids tolerate having the puzzle out for a few days, because I am not getting that done in 24 hours. Now that the drop leaf has been moved, I have a better view of some of the stuff stored under it. Maybe I'll get some of those items moved out of the basement and to a person who can make better use of them.