Honestly, even my mother was involved with my college-attending oldest sister's homework. She edited D.'s papers for grammar, spelling, etc. Altho I was stuck editing the papers due in science classes like Physics (who the fuck assigns papers in a Physics class? I still don't get that, but I remember being stuck proofing the paper), despite being seven years younger than my college-attending sister.
I was recently watching Naomi Klein be interviewed by Franklin Foer (I'm probably spelling something wrong, because I long ago gave up attempting perfection at matters linguistic) on CSPAN's BookTV (the wonders of Tivo). I've been toying with the idea of reading _Shock Doctrine_, but the reviews are somewhat ambiguous. As I listened to her describe the early post-Saddam years in Iraq, I had a little epiphany about helicopter parenting. It's not _just_ a boundary problem, which is how I had previously tended to think of it. The problem arises when a parent really and truly believes they can live their child's life better than their child can -- and that that somehow is relevant. This is the parent who picks the kid's major for them. Etc. And yeah, that's bad.
But I'm sticking to my ground that either it isn't helicopter parenting -- or it's not bad helicopter parenting -- to be there when your kid wants an assist. Any more than it's bad to be there when your friend, spouse, parent, aunt, cousin, niece, etc. wants an assist. It's even okay to share decision making, as long as everyone is very clear just whose life this is, and therefore whose decision it is.