walkitout (walkitout) wrote,
walkitout
walkitout

And Now For Something Completely Different: Mid Life Crisis

I was wasting time on BI today, when this came up:

http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-deal-with-a-mid-life-crisis-2015-4

Headline: "One thing about life everyone should know before turning 46"

I turn 46 in almost exactly a month. What timing! Okay, so that article isn't that great. Basically, it's a cross cultural phenomenon, it involves dissatisfaction and is positively correlated with things like good education, excellent job, etc. Ya worked hard to get to a good place, ya got there, it is not what ya hoped it would be, #firstworldproblems, no one sympathizes, sucks to be you. Yeah, that sounds about right. But when I look at the little graph, it's sort of exactly wrong for me. Back in my youth, when I was supposed to be experiencing euphoric levels of well-being, I spent a lot of time wishing I were dead, so the whole thing is kind of suspect as applied to me. OTOH, I can find a way to be dissatisfied with nearly anything, so, there's hope for me yet! (<-- Some indirect speech here. Good luck figuring it out, because I can't.)

What happens if you google mid life crisis?

WebMD! Fantastic! What have they got?

http://www.webmd.com/depression/features/midlife-crisis-opportunity

"Dan Jones, PhD, director of the Counseling and Psychological Services Center at Appalachian State University, Boone, N.C." (so we are scraping here, clearly) says "A midlife crisis might occur anywhere from about age 37 through the 50s," -- that's a quote from the article which is summarizing Jones.

Here's some more: "By whatever term, the crisis or transition tends to occur around significant life events, he says, such as your youngest child finishing college, or a "zero" birthday announcing to the world that you're entering a new decade.

"The death of parents can be a marker, too, for these midlife events," Jones says."

Okay, so my youngest child might hypothetically finish college (assuming such a milestone occurs for either child) not plausibly earlier than 16 years from now. 46 + 16 ... is not in my 50s. Pretty sure that would be sometime in my 60s. As for "zero" birthdays, 40 was a complete non-issue for me, largely because while virtually everyone does realize, when they stop to think about it, that I must be at least 40 by now, no one ever overestimates my age and they are usually kind of skeptical of the idea that I am as old as I say I am. I assume that's a visceral response to my fundamental immaturity. I mean, I know they say about PDDs like autism that they are characterized by "uneven" development, but I'd say at this point that I'm unlikely to _ever_ attain average levels of development in some areas. My parents _are_ both still alive, so I suppose that could trigger something. I've spent a decent amount of time discussing with various people I am close to how I might react to the death of either or both of my parents (on the one hand, I sort of expect something to happen sort of soon, given my dad's over 80, OTOH, I've done a bunch of genealogy, so they might hang on and both become centenarians, which would imply that event doesn't occur until I'm ... way too old for a midlife crisis).

There's some more stuff about gendered crisis behavior.

"midlife women may become more selfish, Jones says, even though they value relationships. They may feel they have "paid their dues" and not be willing, say, to babysit the grandkids every time they are asked."

Okay, _again_, I have _young_ children. By the time I'm not babysitting them, I'll be too old for a "mid" life crisis. Anyway, stuff about going back to school/starting a new career. Ha ha ha ha ha. Then there's a list of symptoms that sounds suspiciously like perimenopause, minus hot flashes and some of the more TMI stuff.

I'm not finding this particularly useful. However, maybe when I described the i3 as my "mid life crisis car", I was onto something.

ETA: Think the above is contemptuous of the mid-life crisis idea? Try this!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201207/the-top-10-myths-about-the-midlife-crisis

She _really_ doesn't give this idea any respect. "the only people to have a “midlife” crisis had experienced many crises throughout their adult years." The game she describes sounds like fun, tho.
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