walkitout (walkitout) wrote,

And now: an FB comments thread with, er, someone

The context is the power readers/library reference in an earlier post. The reason this comments exchange went this way is because we've had more or less this exact conversation on perhaps a half dozen previous occasions. It's sort of an art form at this point.

Her: I'm kind of lost of the library thing.

Me: If power readers are disproportionately high library users, then their numbers would not show up in sales.

Her: Ahhhh! OK, makes sense. Before the kindle, I was getting nearly all of my books either at thrifts, or the library. So I would not have shown up, right? Regardless of the fact that I power through hundreds of books per year?

Me: Yup! You were a member of a group of people who read a huge amount, but did not appear in publishers and book retailer sales figures.

Her: Well, that seems vastly unfair. How dare they not pay attention to our every move! Philistines. *sniffs* (j/k)

Me: Er. . .

Me again: (She can't really be asking for a pervasive surveillance industry, can she?)

Her: I’m boring. Anyone who wants to stalk me has my permission. I'm more effective than Ambien.

Me: I know, I know. If you're going to surveil me, at least write my grocery list for me.

Her: Exactly.

Her again: And if I left the tap dripping as you rifle through my junk drawer? Be a dear and turn it off, ok?

Me: Heck, while we're at it, feel free to do a little decluttering for us.

Her: That garbage by the door waiting to go out? After you search the house - yeah, grab that as well as the surveillance report.

Me: Take the compost out, too, while you're at it, m'kay?

Her: Those legos won't pick themselves up..........you never know - the password to the secret room MIGHT be at the bottom of that pile of tinker toys....

Me: There’s a bag to go out to the Middle Class Guilt Reduction station. When you leave, go ahead and take it with you. If you're feeling ambitious, there's a bin all ready to go to the consignment place. I left a note on it with my account information; the drop off for the bin is in the back of the shop.

Her: ^This. For the win. LOL

Me: Heh.

Her: We are CLEARLY so boring. LOL

Me: If someone was willing to take out the compost, take stuff to the consignment store, declutter, take out the garbage and recycling, and write my grocery list, I would probably be okay with them snooping at all my financial statements.

Her: Ditto.

Me: I feel like I should turn this into an LJ post.

Her: You should! Tag me in the FB post. Because you know I hate attention.

If you ever wondered what I do when I'm not wasting time on the internet, this should give you some indication.
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