walkitout (walkitout) wrote,

I've found a new way to go entirely off script

I used to read etiquette books (I took an Honors seminar course in college, from a really smart anthropology guy, on manners, so, yeah, I've read Bourdieu, too). I read etiquette books because I'm sufficiently autistic, and my entire family is sufficiently autistic, that I really and truly didn't even grasp some of the most basic social niceties (any of my remaining neurotypical friends and acquaintance are probably currently thinking, "didn't?" Don't you mean, "don't"?). Partly as a result of the etiquette books, partly as a result of increasing age, but almost certainly mostly as a result of fewer and fewer people around me being prepared to bother to go to all the effort to call me on my bullshit, I almost never discover new ways to go all the way off script and render the other party in an interaction speechless out of shock. Not _offense_ -- I don't go around calling people sheepfuckers or anything (well, not typically. R. showed me this article today about a guy who goes around Whidbey Island and Arlington and takes pictures of sheep and I expressed some concern about the photographer). Just shock. Utter and complete surprise because what I said was that unexpected.

R. gave to MassPIRG (I've done this in the past, too), and he didn't really want to give again so he's been not answering their phone calls. I know they aren't for me (I told them no thank you a while back and they quit calling me. I may have specifically told them, quit calling me. I do not, at this time, recall), so I don't pick up either. Usually. But after more than a week of daily calls, and getting really tired of hearing all the house extensions AND all my iOS devices ring, I finally picked up. "Can I speak to [my husband's first and last name, surprisingly pronounced correctly]?" To which I responded, "No, you may not. He is avoiding your phone calls." Dead silence. For several seconds in a row. No hang up -- I could hear breathing. After a while, lacking anything further to contribute to the conversation, and having allowed more than enough time for them to say whatever they might feel like saying, I added, "Thank you, good bye!"

MassPIRG solicitors don't get paid enough to deal with what I dished out today. I know that. I feel ever so slightly sorry for whoever was looking at their script trying to figure out how to reply to someone who _answers the phone_ and says that the person they are attempting to reach is _avoiding their phone calls_. Of course, that isn't _on_ the script, because I went way, way, way off script.


ETA: For whatever it may be worth, if the calls had been for me, I would have picked up, said, "Please put me on your do not call list." and been done with it. However, I hadn't actually cleared it with my husband to ask to have him put on that list, so all I felt comfortable doing was telling them what he had told me, which was that they couldn't talk to him because he was avoiding their phone calls. It did not occur to me until I was listening to breathing on the phone that this might be a massive social violation. Ooops!
Tags: daily activities
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