walkitout (walkitout) wrote,
walkitout
walkitout

Old Person Has Trouble Placing an Order at Starbucks

When I was a very young person (a little older than my son is now), I started drinking coffee. At that point in my life, it was regular (which was black, no sugar to a New Englander) or decaf and that was pretty much it.

When I got to college and started hangin' with the cool kids, I was stuck drinking Starbucks. This would have been around 1989, when I still wasn't legal to drink alcohol. I was drinking americanos, because they didn't serve drip yet, which is what I wanted. Sometimes, because the stuff was so ridiculous tasting, I'd get soy lattes, once they started having soy as an option, and if it was a year when the chocolate had no milk products in it (this was variable for a while), a soy mocha. I was careful to specify "no whip". This is the order I settled on, sometime in the early 1990s:

single tall soy mocha no whip

I never had any trouble with it until today. Today, I am officially old. I was told that the size of the beverage determined the number of shots. The tall at the beginning of the order confused the young woman at the till so much she asked twice what size. And the order went through incorrectly to the man who made the drink, because he did the double-check that everyone does when a soy beverage comes through without no whip specified (some people really do want soy with whip, but most don't).

I'm old. I'm set in my ways. And the changing times have passed me by. It's official. An order I've been placing in Starbucks for about 20 years no longer reliably gets me what I want. I'll try this next time.

Soy mocha, tall, NO WHIP

With a sigh. No wonder I go to DD so much (actually, it's because T. wants donuts), where I cannot order a regular coffee, because that comes with cream and sugar. No, I have to order it black, no sugar, and half the time I get someone who is incredulous that anyone would drink it that way, probably because they've tried it and the signature tastes-like-an-ashtray DD flavor made it undrinkable for them, like anyone with any sense.

Which I do not have.

ETA: You know, maybe I'll just start really fucking with them and order a "short", instead. That's the size I actually want.

ETAYA: A shocking number of typos/wordos today. Sorry if I missed some.
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