walkitout (walkitout) wrote,

Deal Breakers I Did Not Know I Had

Sometimes, a person I have a relationship with (work with, friends with, having sex with, tea buddies with, professional relationship with, etc.) does something that has such a strong effect on me and my perception of them that I am completely unable to continue with the relationship, or at least I feel compelled to make prompt, dramatic and permanent changes in the nature of our relationship from that point forward. I call these "deal breakers". The analogy is to a contract, or a "deal" -- if you break it, it's over, unless a new deal is created.

I don't always know ahead of time what these will be, unfortunately for me and unfortunately for the people around me. Fortunately, as I've gotten older, I discover these with less and less frequency. Either people are picking me knowing what they are getting or I am picking them knowing what I am getting, or I just know more about what my issues are or who knows.

But last Thursday, I learned a new one. If you compare your child to Gollum, I can't hang out with you any more.

That is not OK.

I don't care if your kid lives underground, eats blind fish, is hunched over, and actually _does say_ "My Precious" (ironically, as a hipster, sarcastically, or otherwise). You don't get to call your child Gollum within my hearing.


But if you have a really nice kid, who just happens to want something really bad that you've decided, for whatever reason good or bad, not to give them, and you call your kid Gollum, you've moved into Sauron territory. And not in a heroic quest to save Middle Earth sort of way.

Also, I'm not actually a fan of Tolkien. Kind of the opposite. But I am not ignorant.

I've checked in with a variety of people (my husband, my walking partner, my sister, a few other people who crossed my path, etc.). They all agree that comparing a child, or, really, anyone you like _at all_ to Gollum is sort of unimaginable. They all kept asking me if someone _really_ did this, and tried to figure out any possible misunderstanding to make this Not Have Happened. Alas, it happened. Twice to me, and once to another adult, who didn't know enough about LotR to grasp the reference.
Tags: autism
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.